Just as the Confederates are ready to head back, Cartman calls in another load of schnapps. They get drunk again and decide to keep fighting. "The Red Badge of Gayness" S03 Subscribe to South Park: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7R27sAWc_DqOldtI1JcYhQ?sub_confirmation=1 Watch more South Park: https://www.youtube.com/southpark About South Park: South Park is the Emmy and Peabody-award winning animated series co-created by Trey Parker and Matt Stone about four boys living in one screwed-up Colorado mountain town. Between local and global tragedies, as well as parental and celebrity interference, Kyle, Stan, Cartman, and Kenny manage to have themselves a time. Watch full episodes of South Park: https://cart.mn/episodes Shop official South Park merch: https://cart.mn/shop Follow South Park: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/southpark Twitter: https://twitter.com/southpark Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/southpark #SouthPark #SouthParkS03 EXT. CONFEDERATE CAMP - MORNING The camp looks like the morning after a party. Everyone slowly starts to wake up. Others are already up, moaning and holding their heads. CONFEDERATES (Moaning) Oohhh... Stan's dad walks out of his tent holding his head. STAN'S FATHER Oh, my head... KYLE'S FATHER Where am I? JIMBO Ned, I think I can say without any doubt, that that was the LONGEST drinking binge we've ever had. NED Ooh. Oh my head. Oh. MR. GARRISON Oh no, I'm supposed to be at work today! KENNY'S FATHER Me too. JIMBO Well, come on everybody, we've got to get to the nearest bus station quick. Everyone grabs their things and starts walking away. CARTMAN Where are you going?! JIMBO We're going home, kid. Come on. CARTMAN We can't go home! We have to take Fort Sumter!! STAN'S FATHER The only thing we've gotta do is get home before our wives leave us! Cartman can do nothing as his entire army deserts him. CARTMAN NO! What about the Confederacy! What about freedom?! Stan and Kyle walk up to Cartman. STAN HA HA! You LOSE fat ass! CARTMAN God... I hate... HATE you guys. KYLE Yeah, but you know, I think you've learned something today. You've learned that you can't rewrite history... You see, history- As Kyle speaks, Cartman looks to his left and sees a telephone. KYLE (CONT'D) -is forever. And everything happens for a reason- Cartman looks from the phone to the empty box of S'more Schnapps. KYLE (CONT'D) Sure, you can try to change the past, but usually- Cartman walks away. STAN Where are you going? CARTMAN This isn't over. Oh no. Oh no, not by a long shot. EXT. TENNESSEE - DAY The hung-over, tired Confederates are walking in a large field. STAN'S FATHER Ooh, I don't believe we came all the way out here. JIMBO Yeah, well, I don't think the bus station is too far from here. KENNY'S FATHER How much you think a bus ticket back to Colorado is gonna run? EXT. TENNESSEE - DAY The hung-over, tired Confederates are walking in a large field. STAN'S FATHER Ooh, I can't believe we came all the way out here. JIMBO Yeah, well, I don't think the bus station is too far from here. KENNY'S FATHER How much you think a bus ticket back to Colorado is gonna run? Suddenly, a bunch of trucks and vans with 'Jaegarmenz S'more Schnapps' decals pull up and slam on their brakes. Immediately, loader guys in blue jumpsuits jump out and start unloading boxes from the trucks and vans. SUZZETTE, a very busty and beautiful St. Paulie type girl, holding Schnapps in each hand walks up. SUZZETTE Allo! I am Suzzette the S'more Schnapps girl!! Cartman jumps out of one of the truck's passenger seats. SUZZETTE (CONT'D) We are pleased to sponsor you with all the S'more Schnapps you need! STAN'S FATHER Ooh, I can't drink any more of that stuff. KYLE'S DAD Me neither. Cartman steps up. CARTMAN Oh come on guys, just one little drink. A toast, to how far we came and all that you saw. SUZZETTE Yes, please. Do shots out of my breasts. JIMBO Well I guess one little cheers is in order... FLIP CUT TO: SAME LOCATION - LATER The Confederates are all drunk again, hootin' and hollerin' it up. Some puking, some dancing. JIMBO Hey look! Ned's doing his trick again! Ned walks around with a lamp shade on his head. MR. GARRISON Hey guys, let's all play a game of grab ass! KYLE'S DAD What's grab ass? MR. GARRISON We just run around in circles and try to grab each other's asses! STAN'S FATHER Hey, that sounds fun! The men all start running around in circles trying to grab each other's asses. Cartman steps into the foreground with his arms behind his back. CARTMAN Gentlemen! The men all stop and look at Cartman. CARTMAN (CONT'D) I hate to break up the party, but I do believe we have a FORT TO TAKE!!! JIMBO You heard the General!! CONFEDERATES YEAH!!!! The Confederates all charge out of frame. From a distance, Stan and Kyle watch with grandpa. STAN Oh no... KYLE We'll never stop them now!

• published: 09 Apr 2021
• views: 650309